One may have a lot of information about one’s body and what’s proper health. But are you smart about your relationships?
Generally, in relationships people rummage around for comfort, security and gratification. If you’re using your spouse for your satisfaction, comfort and gratitude then you’re just using them, not contributing to them and their evolution. Once you use them, and if you look deep inside, you will feel a state of isolation .Although both of you’re under the identical roof, inwardly there is isolation because you’re using them for sex and security and this can not be a true relationship.
If you don’t understand how we are regarding people , or property, then it results in conflict or stress. We get into a never-ending process to urge out of this conflict, and seek pleasure and escape these situations.
This takes the full pleasure and joy of real living and their isn’t any smartness about it . For our understanding it’s important to understand what are the various phases during a relationship, and what to expect as we evolve.
Evolution of a relationship
There are different phases during a relationship. They’re outlined below:
1.Fundamentally, love relationships are driven by basic instincts: food, shelter and sex.
2. At the overall level, a deep sense of magical belonging to a partner emerges. This can be described in fairy tales, over-romanticized movies, romance novels, and books about soul-mates or twin-flames who we shared previous lives with and that we believe that person completes us.
3. Post this magical phase, we desire a partner who satisfies our ego by giving us all that we ever wanted to selflessly satisfies all our needs and desires, while sacrificing his or her own. We are able to also go to the extent of punishing them for not satisfying us.
4. After facing disappointment we outgrow the phase and realize that “Real Love” isn’t just a sensation or a feeling but an action that commands irrevocable commitment, humility, selflessness, sacrifice, devotion and being together through thick and thin
5. At the following level, we realize that good couples support one another in realizing their highest potential for self-actualization, professional and individual success, freedom, sexual fulfillment, good mental, and physical health.
6. After this stage, of deriving happiness through the partner , or we start turning to seek out an inner source of happiness and higher love that also flows out to all or any sentient beings.
7. Next phase is the most interesting where we co-create our relationship. Here we fulfill our own and our partner’s physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs.We choose to like, to heal, to learn and grow together.
So where do we go from here?
Evaluate your relationship and determine which stage of evolution it stands. The ultimate purpose of the person is to arrive at the most evolved stage. For this, we should treat our relationships as mirrors, within which we constantly see ourselves and attempt to understand more about ourselves. Once we get more clarity and understanding of ourselves, the true knowledge will surface and lead us to do the right and proper actions meant for our growth.
Therein the process of growth and journey, you realize the thrill of contributing to others, giving to others, and also the joy of creating a difference to others. Then your action emerges out of joy and doesn’t seek joy. There is no kind of inner isolation and hence no loneliness.
There must be a fundamental revolution with relationships with people in terms of ideas. Any relationship should be used as an extension of oneself or as a mirror to know oneself better. The entire purpose of one’s life is to understand oneself better and understand better.
